I missed my routine. I missed my boys. I missed being in charge of everything! I missed the pleasure I get from having a well run household. Its been two weeks and life has returned to mostly normal.
I'm down to 224 in the weight department and I think it is in part because I'm not hungry come lunch time so I usually just have a smoothie with some protein, although I must say the coffee : water consumption has gotten way skewed again.
5 or 6 cups of coffee yesterday to 3 cups of water. not good. Today, so far, is a little better in that department, but it is still early...
Oh, I also have bought 3 pairs of jeans in the recent months in a size 16. Not a woman's size 16, just a normal, regular old size 16!!!!!!! YAY!!!!
Honestly that alone feels great, but I'm still not used to my body now. I don't look at myself. ever. EVER.
I will look at the clothes I'm wearing or how my hair is done, but I won't look at myself.
I know its a trained habit from when I was bigger, because I didn't like the way I looked so I wouldn't look, but now I feel like I need to break that behavior. There is nothing wrong with the way I look, and there really never was, but you know how it is when 'you' think you look bad. Now I don't look bad (at least I don't think I do) and I'm still disconnected feeling to my new body. Odd, right?
Who knew that weight loss and getting healthy include a mental check. Go figure. ;-)
So anyways, that's all that's going on lately. Just wonderfully, gloriously routine life.
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