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WIPEOUT - The Long and Short of It!

Your attention, please!  We now interrupt your regularly scheduled broadcast for an important announcement.  I HAVE DEFEATED WIPEOUT RUN!  "I" being Heather's baby sister, Dana.  Last week, Mike (the hubs) and I drove down to Atlanta, GA to take part in what might be the funnest run we have ever done.  Granted, it wasn't very long and therefore we didn't do much running.  Wipeout Run, formerly known as the Ridiculous Obstacle Course (ROC Run, for short) is only a 5k, and there were about a dozen obstacles, so we mostly walked between them.  Looking back, I totally could have run the course, but I didn't know what to expect or how strenuous the obstacles would be, so we played it safe.  The following are my impressions of the race.

*Any lewd interpretations of my wording is your own fault, you dirty minded people, you. :P

We got a nice slow start that morning since our group didn't go until 12:30, which gave Mike and I ample time to put our war faces on.

So fierce!  Mike was going for a Karate Kid type of look, which earns him much respect.

As far as race logistics are concerned, the folks that do Wipeout Run have it pretty well organized.  The race took place at the Atlanta Motor Speedway, which means it was very easy to find.  The line for packet pickup moved pretty quickly, which was impressive considering the number of people in line--it went back a good ways into the parking lot.  Despite all the participants gearing up to race, there weren't many other people around besides that and volunteers.  The weather was mildly chilly and a little drizzly, so I think that drove people home pretty quickly, especially since you get wet on these obstacles.  Even so, pre-race was great!  

That's assuming you don't count the port-a-potties.  Guh!  *Shudder*  So gross.  So, so gross. Gentlemen and ladies (yes, ladies, you too!), learn to aim!

Right, moving on, the warm up was amazing!  The MC guy at the front was making everyone dance, and, y'all, let me tell you what.  Whipping and nae-nae-ing with 50 of your fellow runners before takeoff might be the most fun I have ever had.  Here is my review of the obstacles:

Sky's the Limit - Basically a really big air mattress on top of an even bigger air mattress.  The potential to get launched off of this thing is sky high (HAH!  See what I did there?)  That was a good gentle start to the race.

Foam of Fury - Remember Slip n' Slides?  Just add some soap and arches and you've got your own Foam of Fury.  I did say you get wet on these obstacles.  This is the first of the wet ones.  Also, we had to wait in line for this one, which was actually great because music was played throughout the course.  I want to high five whoever put that playlist together, and I pity all of you who missed seeing my interpretive performance of "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys.  I.  Was.  STUNNING!

 The Drop - Pretty basic climb and slide.  If you're not in great shape, though, you might want to walk around this one.

Big Balls - Ah, the most famous of Wipeout's obstacles.  The idea is to try and walk across the balls.  Hah!  I belly-flopped onto the first one and then clumsily rolled my way over the rest.

Smashwall - This was probably the most physically demanding of all the challenges.  There's a wall, no rope, one crossbar, and you have to go over it.  My technique left something to be desired, but I'm not a boy, so it turned out okay. :-)

Sweeper - "It's just like being in a video game!" I cried excitedly.  Time it right, and you won't get knocked off into the pit.  We did the more difficult version where the sweeper comes at you instead of behind you.

Look at that determination!  That focus!  Source.

 Tumble Tubes - Another wet one!  This one was more amusement park, less challenge.  Carry your tube to the top and slide down.

Wrecking Balls - Yes, I sang that song.  Am I ashamed?  A little, but it was too perfect.  You know what else was perfect?  ME!  I crushed those balls!  Basically, you cross a semi-stable log of foam over a pit of water as two giant inflatable balls circle around you.  Timing is everything.  Mike went first and made it across...and then almost wiped out on the landing platform.  Well, he wasn't going to be the only one to beat those balls.  I started to lose my balance halfway across.  "Get it together!" I told myself, and I apparently listened to me because I found my groove again after that.  In fact, I found so much groove that when one of those friggin' balls came round and hit me, I just brushed it off.  Ain't no thang!  And, BOOM!  Challenge completed.  I straight up roared when I got done with that one.

Happy Endings - Water slide.  That's basically all there is to it.

All in all, SO MUCH FUN!  You really don't have to be any kind of intense shape to do Wipeout Run.  It is physical, but you can always walk around the obstacles too.  If you get the opportunity, you should totally try it. 


Want to read more from Dana?  She's written some books!  They're really fun and quite possibly the most epic thing you'll read this millennium (or not).  Find them here and here on Amazon!

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