40 pounds .....

Yep. You heard that right, 40 pounds. I've officially lost 40 pounds since I started on this trek last summer.

Feels pretty good honestly. I know I haven't run in like two weeks, or really done much of anything the last few days, but I've still been mindful of what I've been eating and I'm still losing. From my last weigh-in on Thursday until this morning I lost the final 1.5 pounds I needed to.

Don't ask me how it happened, because I was not very good on Saturday. Went on my first wine tour for a girlfriend's bachelorette party. Then had a whole crap load of wine and got properly hammered. For the first time in like 10 years. I don't drink. Ask anyone. I don't drink and get drunk either. In fact, none of my current friends (sans the husband) have EVER seen me drunk. Maybe tipsy, maybe once, but I got properly hammered Saturday. Its my own fault, of course, I had two pieces of toast with apple butter, then went for a 3 mile walk with my parents Saturday morning, then got ready for wine with about 3 cups of coffee. We didn't eat lunch till probably 2, so by the time we were hitting the reds at the 2nd winery, the bar was holding me up. Of course, I did the sensible thing when I realized just how hammered I was, I said no to more wine (after the tasting). I proudly drank my water and ate my lunch (which had all been made with reisling). Lunch was delicious (Thank you Michelle!) and I even ate the celery. Shows just how drunk I was. I hate celery. I can't even stand the smell of it, but it was in the delicious chicken curry salad so it went down along with everything else.

I must say I've never slept quite so well as I did on Saturday night.

So today, I'm being super critical about what I eat. I also don't feel that hot. Stupid sinuses. I finally rid myself of a nagging sinus headache by taking a mid-morning nap, after cleaning and organizing Small Fry's toys. The napped helped the headache, but I could do without the stuffy nose I woke up with. Sigh. The joys of living in Virginia during the spring.

I'm also feeling a little blue, and it could be partly due to the not spectacular way I'm feeling, but I just feel like the hubs has kind of fallen off the healthy bandwagon (again). I was really pleased a couple of weeks ago when he jumped in with both feet, but now he's gotten out of the pool and I feel like I'm battling an uphill battle by myself again. I know I control what I eat and I'm fine with that. I control what the kids eat, also fine with that, but I feel like that I may have to start battling with feeding him because he may start to want to go back to our old ways, and that's not going to happen. I'll just  put my head down and charge through and you can either go with me (which will be easier) or you don't. I'm not going to back down or change back to the way things were. I do think I need to find myself a cookbook with more healthy recipes rather than the one section of my poor, beloved cookbook, but that's neither here nor there. I just don't want to battle.  I will win or you don't have to eat what I make, but I would just rather not have to battle. I'm also sad that he's stopped working out and just getting in some extra activity in general. I told him a bit ago that he would have to find balance in his life so that there was room for everything, but I don't feel like he's doing that. I feel like he's pigeonholed himself and only focused on 1, maybe 2 things. The biggest part of the feeling blue, is that I feel like he's not with me on this journey anymore. Like I said, I was ecstatic when he decided that he was going to do it, and then did it for a while, but then one by one things started getting sloughed off and returning to the way they had been. I feel like I failed a little bit. I know, in my head, that he's only going to stick with it if he truly wants it and I can't make him want it, but part of me still feels like I could have done something more. Silly? I know. Rational? Not at all, but I'm a social person and having him there step for step for that short time was pretty freaking awesome, and I had a nice high knowing that I wasn't doing this alone for once.

So there's my  pity party, I promise I'm done. There's laundry to be put away and I'm making my sister a new dress that needs to be started. Oh and there's the vanity to be finished and then moved. And then. And then. And then. And then. Story of my life. :-)